


The King's Heart

by LazyLazuli



Series: Warden-Commander Amell [1]
Category: Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angry Kissing, Angry Sex, Arranged Marriage, Breaking Up & Making Up, Eventual Sex, F/M, Falling In Love, Female Protagonist, Flashbacks, Grey Warden Stamina, Honeymoon, King Alistair, Loss of Virginity, Love Triangles, Making Love, Male Protagonist, Masturbation, Public Sex, Romance, Wedding Fluff, Wedding Planning, Weddings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-15
Updated: 2018-09-16
Packaged: 2019-07-12 14:37:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15997262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LazyLazuli/pseuds/LazyLazuli
Summary: King Alistair's heart is broken and there's no one to fix it. After six months of being king, Arl Eamon arrange for Alistair to wed Jenavie Cousland. However, his heart still belongs to the Warden Commander, a gorgeous and talented mage who he loved dearly. The king must once again decide on duty and his own wishes.





	1. Chapter 1

**_Alistair’s Point of View_ **

**_Her skin was smooth and her hair - even though we were in the middle of war  smelled like the Chantry’s garden. It was an inviting scent, a scent that pulled me in as if I was being controlled by the Maker himself. Her lips were soft and pink,  perfect to kiss. Her eyes bright and blue, easy to get lost in. Everything about this woman was perfect to me. To her laugh, her smile, the way she flicked my forehead whenever I gave her my usual nonsense. The way she elegantly slayed Darkspawn, each spell causing me to feel a mix of pride and fear. She was a dangerous, yet she was mesmerizing on the battlefield. I couldn’t stop staring at her, she was a luminary._ **

**_Nothing in this world is perfect. But she was. Her compassion she had underneath all her pain and suffering...She was strong. Stronger than me, perhaps. I am not ashamed to admit a woman is stronger than myself. I am not the strongest man. I am not the man they want me to be._ **

❧

I was snapped out of my daydreaming with a slam of the door. The sound startled me, causing me to turn around quickly. Arl Eamon was at my door, his face scrunched up as if he ate something sour. The face he made whenever he was not pleased. Usually with me. It took me a while to realize I was in my bedroom and clothes scattered across the floor. I could hear Wynne scolding me in my head.

**_“You will clean up this mess, don’t strain the poor servants.”_ **

“Alistair,” he said gently, making his way to me. “You’re not dressed son. The ball starts in twenty minutes.”

 ** _Oh, right._** The ball. Arl Eamon invited nobles across Ferelden and even Orlais to the castle. He said a gathering would help me know who to trust, who to keep close and who to be cautious of. Apparently keeping people close and trusting them are two different things in his eyes. “No offense,” I said to Eamon, not bothering to look at him. “But I do not want to wear that horrifying outfit. I look like a drunk jester. An unfunny drunk jester.”

I wanted to laugh, but Eamon was not in the mood for my usual jokes. Still, it didn’t hurt to crack one. “Just wear the black vest.” He  frowned. “And if I have to watch you get dressed like you’re a child, so be it.”

I suddenly felt uncomfortable. “No, I’ll be down there before the guest start flooding in.”

“They’re already here, Alistair. How is it a sheltered mage is more organized than the king of Ferelden?” He tried to make a joke. And it was indeed unfunny since I wasn’t laughing.  Eamon showed me a wide grin, lightly hitting my arm. “It’s a joke.”

“I didn’t find it funny.”

Eamon nodded his head. “Right,” he muttered. “Get dressed. If you’re not ready in twenty minutes, I swear on everything-”

“I know, I know. Let me get dressed, would you?” Eamon turned around to leave my bedroom, but a thought crossed my mind. “Wait, I have a question to ask.”

He turned his body to face me. “Yes?”

I stood there in silence. The words on the tip of my tongue, but my pride wouldn’t allow me to say it. I didn’t want Eamon to be disappointed in me. He was like my father. Some people told me having a parent disappointed in you was the worst feeling in the world. I must politely disagree. “Is there a cure for a broken heart?” I asked him, staring into his light blue eyes.

It was Eamon’s turn to be silent. His silence was making me anxious. “Yes,” he finally spoke. “There is. It’s called moving on.”

**_Moving on._ ** “Easier said than done.”

“I know, boy. I know. But what else can we do?”

Without another word, Eamon left my bedroom. With a small sigh of frustration, I decided to wear a frilled shirt, black pants and a matching vest. It was the only outfit that didn’t make me look like a complete fool. Wearing fancy clothing was never for me. But I had to get use to it. I was the king, after all.


	2. Chapter 2

**_Alistair’s Point of View_ **

I was dressed and ready to go before my twenty minute deadline. The walk towards the ballroom was causing me to become tense. I was a social butterfly, but in times like this I wanted to be alone, locked away in my chambers, eating a plate full of cheese. I knew that wasn’t going to help me, or Ferelden. But I couldn’t help but feel such a way.

Eamon was waiting on the top of the staircase. When he saw me, I could tell he was relieved. He gave me a small nod before addressing the crowd. “Ladies and gentlemen,” his voice echoing throughout the ballroom. “It is my pleasure to introduce you to the king of Ferelden, Alistair Theirin.”

I stood next to Eamon, forcing a small and waving at the hundreds of nobles before me. “Thank you for coming.” I said. “The Blight has taken much from us. Our families, our homes, perhaps even our pride. But that should not stop us from enjoying this glorious night. Dance, dine, mingle. This is a night to forget our woes and enjoy our lives.”

The sound of clapping filled the ballroom. I could feel Eamon’s disappointment in me fading. He placed a warm hand on my shoulder as proof he was proud of me. This gave me the motivation to walk down and mingle with the guests.

I was in a sea of faces that were both familiar and unfamiliar. Most of the unfamiliar faces were Orlesian nobles. Mingling with them made me automatically think of Leliana. I could hear the sound of her enchanting song in my head.  Unfortunately, Leliana was in Orlais and I didn’t have a way to contact her. I would have invited her to the ball, give her a chance to gawk over shoes.

I was prepared to grab myself a plate full of cheese, but I was stopped by a low male voice. “Excuse me, King Alistair?” The voice was unfamiliar, along with the face. He had dark brown hair and hazel eyes. He looked rather cheerful. “Good evening, my king.”

“Good evening.” I nodded. “I’m sorry for asking, but...what is your name?”

“I am Fergus Cousland, Your Majesty.” The Cousland family...I heard of them. I knew little of their family history, but I remember Arl Howe betrayed the Cousland family, killing Teyrn Bryce Cousland and Teyrna Eleanor Cousland. Reports say their daughter was also killed, but there was no body to be found. “I have a request, if you don’t mind.”

“I’m all ears.”

“You are aware my family...they were slaughtered by Howe and his men. I am the last Cousland standing, just like you are the last Theirin.” Something Eamon reminded me of often. “However, I do not think that is entirely the case...My sister’s body was never found. She must be out there somewhere. Perhaps we can send a search party?”

I didn’t want tell him what was going on in my brain, it would break the poor man’s heart. However, lying to him wasn’t going to make the situation any better. “I’m sorry,” I muttered. “The odds are not in our favor. The attack happened one year ago. If your sister was out there, she would have turned up.”

The expression on Fergus’s face made my heart drop. I’ve never seen a man look so heartbroken in my life. “I...I understand. I’m sorry for wasting your time.”

“If something does show up, I’ll write to you. You have my word.”

I no longer had the feeling to devour an entire plate of cheese. Instead, I longed for fresh air and solitude. The only place that was close to my location was the garden.

Stepping out into the garden brought a small grin to my face. The air wasn’t suffocating and didn’t smell like perfume. The wind was calming and the sight of the variety of flowers was a pleasing sight. Venturing further into the garden, I spotted a single rose in full bloom on a bush. I couldn’t help but stare at the delicate flower.

❧

**_Lothering was a sad little village full of desperate people. Watching the children lose their innocence and the Templars terrified made my chest weigh heavy. During Blights, the Grey Wardens were supposed to be the guardians of these people. Now, they were criminals who killed their king. I didn’t want to say what I was thinking in front of her, or Morrigan...but I wasn’t on the positive side. Duncan was dead and there were two Grey Wardens left in the Ferelden. Two Wardens against a herd of Darkspawn? That wasn’t going to make anyone have a head full of sunshine._ **

**_I caught glimpse of a rose bush near the Chantry. It was practically barren. But it wasn’t...there was a rose. A single rose in full bloom. The beauty of the rose lifted a small weight off my chest. I forgot beauty existed in a world of despair and ugliness. For the past week, all I saw was blood and hatred. It’s what I started to think the world was going to become...bloody and full of hatred. The rose gave me an overwhelming feeling of faith. Something I most definitely needed._ **

 

**_I thought about leaving it alone, but I couldn’t bring myself to. Lothering was going to get hit by the Darkspawn and their taint would ruin it. Reaching down, I plucked the rose from its bush, examining the red petals with my eyes. Examining the petal pushed thoughts in my head. I could hear Duncan giving me words of encouragement, along with the other Wardens. I could hear her voice...telling me to press on...She never said it directly, but I could tell she was in her little way._ **

❧

My daydreaming was interrupted yet again, but this was a more gentle approach. A soft hand placed itself on my shoulder. I turned my head, only to have my stomach turn. It was Anora, the former queen of Ferelden. Her blonde hair tied up in a bun, her bright blue eyes glistening in the moonlight.  **_She was beautiful._ ** And I couldn’t deny it.

“Teyrna Ano ra,” I greeted with a false smile. “You look gorgeous this evening.”

Anora blinked a few times at me, possibly taken aback by my compliment. “Thank you,  **_King_ ** Alistair.” The way she said king...it felt bitter. “Are you alright? You’ve been staring at that rose for quite some time.”

I gave her a small nod. “Yes, I’m fine. A lot is on my mind, that’s all.”

“Of course. An entire country is resting on your shoulders.”

“I’m aware. Why are you here?”

Anora eyes began to travel. First at the floor, at the rose,then  my face. “I was invited by Arl Eamon.” She responded. “At first, I didn’t want to step foot in this castle. Too many unwanted memories, you understand. But I wanted to see the garden again...it’s been far too long.”

My eyes landed on the rose. I tried to distract myself with the memory of finding the rose in Lothering, but I failed. “Six months.” I muttered.

A small sigh escaped Anora’s lips. “Yes, six months...And no queen.” I could feel the atmosphere suddenly become tensed. I could also feel Anora’s cold eyes staring me down. “I wonder why that is.”

I shrugged. “I don’t know, I’m a charming gentleman, if I do say so myself.”

She snorts. “Charm? Hardly. You have the manners of a pig.”

“No, wolf.”

The teyryna arched her eyebrow. “I beg your pardon?”

“I was raised by wolves, not pigs. A pack of them from the Anderfels, in fact.”

That was her cue to groan in frustration. And she did. “Grow up.” She spat. “You’re the bloody king, act like it.”

“I don’t plan to be the Grumpy King of Ferelden, my lady, I assure you.”

“I knew this would happen. Eamon said give you time, but I can already tell...you’ll bring this country to  **_ruin_ ** . Ferelden does not need a jester, she needs a leader. She needs  **_me_ ** .”

Ruin. That word left a bitter taste in my mouth. It wasn’t the way she said it, but it was the constant repeat of it during the Blight. **_Ferelden was on the edge of ruin._ ** But the way I saw it, it wasn’t entirely the Darkspawn’s fault. “Oh, yes. She needs you.” Words were slipping out of my mouth without permission. “You betrayed our trust not only once, but twice. You knew your father was a murderer. You knew and you turned a blind eye. He killed your husband, slandered the Warden’s name and for what? Power? Pride? Greed? Who knows, the man is dead. Not only that, Ferelden needed an heir to the throne, did she not? And you can not provide. I don’t think Ferelden needs a barren queen.”

Guilt began to overwhelm me. But what made me regret my words was when Anora struck me with her hand. She didn’t need words to express her distaste in me, her hand said it all. I watched Anora walk back into the throne room. The closer she got to the door, the more elegant she tried to walk. She knew how to compose herself, even when she was upset. At that moment, I began to envy Anora.

After my conversation with Anora I was done socializing. I wanted to sulk in my bedroom and fall asleep in my comfortable bed made for two.

Removing my clothes and jumping onto my bed, I allowed my body to relax. I tried my best to ignore the stinging in my right cheek.

It did take a while, but I managed to fall asleep. My mind was occupied. Not with the words I said to Anora, but about a particular woman who was in Amaranthine.


	3. Chapter 3

**_Alistair’s Point of View_ **

**_It was rude to stare. That’s how we are raised. But this woman’s body was...captivating. I thought it was my turn to bathe, but apparently not. She was there. Washing her soft skin. This woman had a body to show off, and she was not ashamed of it. Her rear was nice and plump, easy to grab, easy to spank and pleasing to watch jiggle. She had curves, but she was losing weight due to our constant traveling. And her breast...Maker, they were a handful. Her nipples were hard and pink...it drove me wild._ **

**_She made eye contact with me and I couldn’t look away. It was like she placed a spell on me...and if she did, I didn’t want to be released._ **

**_“Alistair,” she whispered in a sweet voice. “Come to me.”_ **

**_And I did. I walked toward my fellow Warden,  removing my clothing each step of the way. Once my body touched the water, I pulled her into a passionate kiss. I poured my love and lust into our kiss, which she returned. My hands traveled up and down her curvy figure, eventually making their way to her rear. I couldn’t help but carcess it...Soft, plump...I could hold it in my hands forever._ **

**_I pulled away from the kiss and locked eyes with the Warden. Her bright blue eyes staring into my brown ones. A smile appeared on her lips. “I love you.” She whispered._ **

**_“I love you, too.” I said immediately after. “I love you so much…”_ **

**_And the kiss resumed. My hands on her rear, while her hands were on my crotch, stroking slowly. Her touch was quick to make me hard. Maker, I wanted this woman…_ **

❧

The bright sun was shining on my face, waking me from my fantasy. I stared up at the ceiling, blinking my eyes a few times before releasing a small groan. I didn’t expect to have such a dream about her, but I couldn’t complain.

I pulled the blanket back only to see I had a full erection.  **_Great_ ** . I didn’t have a woman to volunteer as tribute, but the only woman I wanted...was her. This was a problem. If Eamon, or anyone who thought it was a good idea to barge in my room without permission saw my erection, I was doomed.

Getting up out of bed, I locked my door. I had three options: Masturbate, think of something gross or try to hide my clear erection.

I tried the second option. Something gross would be the morning breath of Oghren. Well, the small man did reek of alcohol. All hours of the day was his morning breath. With a sigh, I decided to choose my first option.

Releasing my erection from my trousers, I stared down at my penis that was leaking of precum. This meant I was going to be sensitive to the softest touch. And she knew how to make me go wild with lust.

This wasn’t going to help my broken heart, I knew that. But my body longed for her. I wanted her here, with me. And what I wanted the most at that moment...was to fuck her pretty throat. I was a gentleman in bed, but not when I’m this frustrated. I closed my eyes, imagining her on her knees, naked, her mouth ready to take me in.

Slowly, I began to tease the tip of my cock on her lips. While in reality, it was just me rubbing the tip with my thumb. “Open.” I muttered. And like the good girl she was, she opened her mouth for me.

I didn’t want to be entirely wicked. I slid my length inside her mouth, but I didn’t shove it in there. Oh, no. I wanted to feel every inch be devoured by her warm mouth. When my entire length was inside, I allowed her to adjust before turning evil.

A firm grip on her blonde hair, I began to thrust my hips, having no mercy on her mouth. Hearing her gag was like music to ears. The feeling of her mouth wrapped on my cock sent shivers down my spine. I felt an overwhelming amount of pleasure, causing me to thrust faster and push further down her throat.

I whispered her name over and over aloud. I held back my moans by biting down on my lower lip, but not biting too hard to cause bleeding. Her mouth was perfect.  **_She was perfect_ ** .

Without much warning from my body, I came down her precious throat, forcing her to swallow each and every drop of sperm. Releasing her mouth, a few drops landed on her face, which she licked off. That sight alone made me want to pin her to the bed and destroy her wet pussy. Explode inside her, let her feel my warm cum fill her insides and watch it leak out of her and see her face twist in pleasure.

Opening my eyes, I saw I made a mess on the floor, which would be embarrassing for maids to clean up. I grabbed a cloth and cleaned up my mess. Once that was done, I took a bath and prepared myself for the long day ahead.

After breakfast, Eamon wanted to speak to me about important matters. I headed to my study straight after my “luxurious” meal of pancakes, eggs, toast and freshly squeezed orange juice. When I opened the door to my study, Eamon was already there, sorting out papers.

“Sit.” He told me without looking at my face.

I compiled and sat down on the chair behind my desk. “What’s so important?” I asked him with a sigh.

“For starters, the Warden-Commander sent you a letter.” He began, placing the letter on my desk. I stared at the envelope that was already  open.

“Why is it open?” I asked Eamon.

“I wanted to read it for myself.” He responded.

“Aren’t you a nosy one?” I snorted.

“I wanted to make sure it wasn’t a love letter.” He glared at me for a quick second, before resuming back to his papers. “Also, Fergus Cousland gave me a deception about his sister, just in case. Marriage proposals-”

“Marriage?” I had to cut him off. Marriage. That word repeated in my head for a few seconds.

Eamon gave me a glare, except this was much longer. 

“Yes, marriage proposals. This Orlesian noble think his daughter would be an excellent candidate. She’s younger than you by a few years, so it shouldn’t be a problem.”

“It shouldn’t be a problem?” I nearly raised my voice. “Eamon, I’m not ready for marriage. And I’m not going to marry a woman I don’t know.”

He sighed. “I would never force you to marry a woman you don’t know,” he said gently. “You’ll get time to know her. You’ve been king for six months, lad. The court isn’t growing impatient, but I am.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Impatient? You’re upset that I’m not going to pick some random woman and ask her to be my wife?”

Eamon sat down in a chair, releasing a soft huff. “I’m upset that you’re not  **_trying_ ** , Alistair. You can’t linger on her forever. She probably moved on herself.”

That caused my chest to weigh heavy. I started to feel a sharp pain in my stomach as well. She moved on...It was a possibility, she’s been gone for six months. Who knows who she met in Amaranthine. Probably a baker who made fantastic pie. “I don’t want anyone else.” I muttered to myself.

“You say that now,” his voice sounded tired. He was tired. Probably tired of dealing with my nonsense, or maybe he didn’t get enough sleep last night. “But you will move on eventually. She is not of noble birth. Not only that, she’s a mage.”

“Why does that matter!?” I yelled. “She  **_saved_ ** our ungrateful asses, did she not? She’s seen as a hero throughout Ferelden, possibly even Thedas! If anyone deserves the crown, it’s her.”

Despite me yelling, he was surprisingly calm. He kept his composure, similar to Anora when she was upset at the ball. “Alistair, we both know the Chantry will never approve of a mage being on the throne.” He said gently. “And we both know...two Grey Wardens having a child might not be possible. One Grey Warden is hard enough, but two? Ferelden needs an heir, son. As king, you will have to make many sacrifices. Your duty must come first, you know that.”

I could feel my eyes burning. I was prepared to cry. Gods, he was right. The Chantry would have my head if I made her my queen. And while I know one Warden having a baby was a low chance, two Wardens might be impossible. “I know.” I sighed. “I’m the one who ended our relationship anyway...She might not take me back.”

“You did the right thing.”

“Did I? This was the first woman I ever loved. Our relationship was...perfect. I know, nothing is ever perfect, but to me it was. We had our little arguments, but all couples do, right? We knew how to apologize to each other and move on. We knew the difference between love and lust, and I made sure to let her know that I loved her with each thrust I made. When I was beginning to doubt myself she knew how to make me smile and believe in myself. She was the perfect woman in my eyes, and I gave her up...to perform my duty as king.”

Eamon was now looking at his papers, instead at me. I wish I knew what was going on in his head. His silence was making me anxious. “I’m sorry,” was all he said to me.

“Anything else before I go train?” I sighed, leaning back in my chair. “I need to let out out some steam.”

“Aside from Fergus’s description , marriage proposals from nobles across the country and the Warden-Commander’s letter...no, I don’t have anything else to give you. I do, however have some news.”

“Go on.”

“I will be returning to Redcliffe to visit my family. I have not seen them in quite some time. You will have be here on your own, but I have confidence you will do well.”

“When is your departure?”

“A week from now. I’ll be gone for at least a few weeks.”

I tried smiling to reassure Eamon. “I’ll survive.”

He chuckled. “I know you will. Look over the paperwork before training, I don’t want to stay up until midnight doing your work.” Eamon got up from his seat, giving me a smile before leaving my office.

I decided to read her letter, before touching anything else.

 

**_Dear King Alistair Theirin,_ **

**_This is Warden-Commander Amell updating you on the status of Amaranthine. Both the city and Vigil’s Keep is secured. The threat known as The Architect is no more and the Darkspawn are retreating to the Deeproads. This was no easy task, but when is it ever? Lucky for me, I did not do this alone._ **

 

**_I told you about Oghren joining the Wardens, did I not? When he had his first dream about the Darkspawn, it terrified him. I don’t think it was the Darkspawn he feared. I think it was the fact he is now able to have dreams. It was both sad and amusing to watch._ **

 

**_I caught up with an old friend as well from the Circle. His name is Anders. I mentioned him before during our travels, I believe? He was like a brother to me, similar to Jowan. We played such an awful prank on one of the Templars. I would rather tell this story in person, however. Your face would be a sight to see._ **

 

**_There’s so much I want to tell you...maybe make you envious. Mountains of paperwork for the king and a herd of Darkspawn for me. It must be dull. Then again, I’m sure you are tired of seeing Darkspawn left and right. I sure am._ **

 

**_I do not know when I’ll return to Denerim. There’s so much I want to do...much I wish to study. Perhaps I’ll visit Orlais and find Leliana? I am worried about our redhead friend._ **

 

**_So far, Ferelden has not burned to the ground. Let’s keep it that way, yes?_ **

**_Sincerely, Warden-Commander Amell_ **

Her handwriting...I’ve never seen such neat handwriting before. It was perfect, clear. I expected her to write unprofessionally. She was a Grey Warden, after all. We aren’t all that professional around each other. But no, she had to write elegantly across the page. 

A smile was on my face.  **_She was enjoying life_ ** And I was grateful for that. Enjoying her life...without me. And I was jealous because of that. Being the king didn’t mean I couldn’t have fun, but she was doing exactly what Eamon said she was. She was moving on.

Pushing the thoughts of her aside, I picked up Fergus’s description of his sister, examining it with my eyes.

 

**_Dear King Alistair of Ferelden,_ **

**_I am aware you said it was a lost cause, but I still want to try anyway. If she does not show up for another year, then I will officially lose hope and continue with my life. If I linger on my sister, I might not be able to properly perform my duties as Teyrn of Highever. Please look over this description of her and spread the word if you can._ **

**_Sincerely, Teyrn Fergus Cousland_ **

 

**_Name: Jenavie Cousland_ **

**_Age: She would be twenty years of age right now_ **

**_Hair Color: Light brown_ **

**_Eye Color: Light brown/hazel_ **

**_Other: She has fair skin and a birthmark on her right wrist. It resembles a star. She also wears this gold locket given to her by our mother. Inside this locket, should be a small quote from the Chant of Light. “Let my cries touch their hearts. Let mine be the last sacrifice.”_ **

**_If you find her, please tell her to come to Highever. Her brother awaits._ **

I made a copy of Fergus’s description of his sister and decided to give it to Eamon. I’ll be in the castle for Gods know how long, and he will be in Redcliffe. He’ll be able to spread the word faster than myself. I did not dare touch the marriage proposals. Instead, I threw them in the trash. I was tempted to burn them, but I might set the entire study on fire.

With the paperwork done, I made my way to the armory to find my sword. The castle armory was indeed impressive. Swords, battle axes and bows fit for...well, a king. I added Duncan’s Shield to the armoy the moment I had access to it. I had my eyes locked on his shield for a while. Similar to the rose in Lothering, the shield gave me an overwhelming feeling of faith.

For once, I had faith in myself.  **_I can do this. I can move on, and be the king the people of Ferelden need._ **

**Author's Note:**

> Suggestions would be nice!


End file.
